There is a new commercial for Target's education donation program. In it, teenagers are getting their college acceptance letters (online, it seems - so much for the fat or skinny envelope, I guess.) Their parents, friends or siblings are around them as they proudly declare, "I got in!"
Will we have that? It seems like a lifetime away, but I can't help but think about what the future holds for Scarlett. We have met many parents, both at the camps we have the privilege of attending and online, who have fought similar battles with their own children. Now, for many, their children are not kids any more, but they aren't really adults, either - they can't hold a full-time job, won't attend college, may never be able to live away from their parents.
We're only in preschool, and I have learned enough thus far to know that I can't predict the future, but I ask myself ...Will Scarlett go to her prom? With a date? Will she able to live independently? College? A rewarding and fulfilling job that gives her some personal satisfaction and challenges her? Will people accept her with whatever deficits she may have and include her in "normal" society? Will she find a partner who loves her the way she deserves? Will she get married? Have a child? Will her life offer her the opportunity to make choices and decisions for herself?
Will she live to get a chance?
I try not to let the worries spiral out of control - it does no good. Every parent worries about their child's future, so I know I am not alone. Even typical kids have to grow up, and it's almost never the way their parents planned. I am more motivated than ever to find the right schools and supportive professionals who can help her make progress toward more of her goals. We have high hopes, and are devoted to surrounding Scarlett with as much love and support as it takes. But sometimes, I wonder what the next phases of this battle will bring for her, and if I am strong enough to get her through it.
Tonight, I'm thankful she is still so little. It helps to know that the scary future is so very far away. She's tucked into her mermaid quilt in footie pajamas with her doll and her pacifier, and that's enough for today.
I wonder those things too with my little boys. Though I know it is amplified for you as Scarlett has gone through so much already. I just remind myself there is no way to know those things so I better just soak up the now. And as you mentioned it sure does help that they are so little still :)
You will be strong enough. I truly believe that much like our love for our children, our strength expands as the needs arise. Scarlett has set the standard very high for exceeding expectations; I would imagine that she has set the standard for her life in that regard.
I believe this is every parents concern. :s
Nobody is guaranteed a tomorrow or even a next minute, so in reality worrying about the future is meaningless. Although we need to have ideas and it is wise to map out routes, it just never pays off to worry because that will only lead to stress, ulcers and a very grumpy person.
Like manna, God does promise to provide for the day and He will provide all the strength you need to make it through whatever will come your way.
No matter where Scarlett will be in say 20 years from now I just know she will be an amazing person and she will be unique like all the rest of God's creation is. She will find her place and all the answers to your questions will be put to rest as you know that Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. is a promise to all those who choose to follow God.
Praying and praying often.
I am a preschool special ed teacher and I have to say that at this age you don't look to the future or at least you don't try to predict. These little ones make progress so quickly at times and they overcome so much that to try to predict it is a disservice to them. Just assume the norm and find ways now to get her there. Honestly go for the gold and push for every service you can get and pour all the help you can into having her achieve the best. It is sad that these little ones need to work so hard at such a young age, but they do. Having come from teaching school age special education I will say that preschool is different, by the time they get closer to middle school then we need parents to step back and embrace things differently. So for the time being the sky's the limit.
There are so many times when I have the same thoughts about our Scarlett. I was at CVS the other day and the Easter egg decorating kits were on sale. I was about to buy one to save for next year when I stopped and thought 'what if she's not around next year? will I find this in a box in the basement after she's gone?' but I threw the thought away and bought it. I'm going to continue to live each day as I normally would if we weren't going through this. A child can get taken away from a parent at any time, even if they don't have cancer or some other disease and I think most parents worry about that. Just keep on keeping on!!! From what I've read, you and your husband are doing an amazing job and that is what is helping your beautiful girl to thrive and survive!!
Post a Comment