Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Silver Lining

Our clinic appointment was cancelled today; the doctors decided they already had everything needed, so we got a second day at home.  Since I did a little sale-cruising yesterday, and we are having some un-California May rain, I decided to stay home today.  We get admitted for more chemo tomorrow, the really nasty Vincristine-Cyclophosphomide-Carboplatin cocktail that leaves her so sick.  It's probably my last chance for the next week to have some time for myself.

One of the wonderful new tricks Scarlett has developed is a sleeping schedule.  She wakes up around 8, naps from about 11:30-3, another short nap in the evening, then goes to bed around 9 (she usually needs a feeding and diaper change in the night, but goes right back to sleep).  She is so much happier when she is awake, and I really think it has helped her recovery and development the last few weeks.  She is beginning to help hold her bottles, hold her head straight, put her pacifier back in her own mouth (only the Wubbanub - I LOVE these!), push off with her legs and babbles all the time.  She has also cut her second tooth.  It is such a relief to see these advancements!  I was beginning to forget that she wouldn't always be helpless.

One of the other things I noticed lately is how different she looks.  She has almost no hair, and what is left is straggly and thin.  She has no eyebrows or lashes.  
Her hair before surgery in January

No hair, no brows, no lashes.
I was prepared for this, but I barely even realized it had happened. 

In fact, despite all the other issues we have to deal with, I have been feeling lucky.  When we found out I was pregnant last year, there was no way we could manage me staying home for more than the basic maternity leave (up to 12 weeks unpaid, for those not familiar).  Even before D(diagnosis)-Day, I could hardly stomach the idea of leaving her in day care.  I am so lucky to have been able to stay with her all this time.  I am present for everything, for better or worse.  That's the little bit of silver lining I found in the rainclouds today.

14 comments:

Jessica said...

Your positive attitude through this is so touching. I tear up reading your happy posts because it reminds me that I need to always focus on the positive, even on the days that I think nothing is good, there's always something that I have to be thankful for, and if I start to think about it, I find many things. Thank you for that reminder!@

L. said...

Excellent way to look at this and any situation. Like the previous commenter said, thanks for the reminder.

Shanna said...

YAY! thanks for the bright spot!

Kristyna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kristyna said...

And what a beautiful silver lining it is. <3

Bald baby girls are beautiful! I have one myself and she's almost a year.It will grow back, but of course you know that;) Thank you for brightening up my day.

Congrats sweet baby on all of your milestones!

Kristyna in Houston
BBC july '10

Maddy said...

So glad to hear that you've found some good things about today. It's hard to take it one day at a time, but it really is the only way to go, isn't it? Love and prayers for you and your family today.

Alyson N said...

She is so cute and I agree, bald babies are beautiful. The one big thing I notice is it does look like she has filled out a bit!!

Mommy2CJ said...

She is so incredibly beautiful! So glad that she is doing so well! Your ability to remain so positive is inspiring! My little guy has minor and I mean very minor health concerns compared to your little miracle, but it makes day to day life tough. I understand you completely when you say this is what you know and what you must do and don't know of any other way. That's how I feel too when people comment on how I well have dealt with my sons health problems, and when they say I could never do that. I tell them yes yes you can you just do, you have to for your child. Never the less you are still very strong and a wonderful inspiration! Thanks for keeping us posted so well! You and your entire family, Scarlett's doctors and most importantly Scarlett are in my prayers every night!

Rose said...

She looks amazing. I love her chubby little cheeks. Yes she looks different but it will be worth it in the end. I hope all goes well with Chemo tomorrow. Your in my prayers

Taji said...

If you didn't point out her hair issues, I'd never know they were missing! She is beautiful! :)

Melissa.M.Loss said...

Don't feel Bad Miss Scarlett I have No hair or brows Either!! She is sooooooo Cute!!

Pirates' Mama said...

She is soooo cute! I didn't have much hair until I was 1 year old. haha.
At this age, the milestones keep coming! It is really interesting to see how they hit one after another, and you can't keep up anymore. Before you know it she'll be cutting teeth and you won't find them until days later, haha. And how much they talk...its like they want to tell you their whole day!! I pray that her next round is easy on her and it is over quickly! Hugs from PA!!

katy said...

I continue to be amazed and inspired by you, Brandi and Chris, and by Scarlett. Wishing you the best and still sending love and hugs from NC... xoxo

heatherdily said...

Scarlett is as beautiful as ever. I am so thrilled to read about her progress and developments, that's great news. Lots of Love from Alaska,
Heather and Lindsey