Saturday, March 5, 2011

Both Sides

Good:
  • We got in for chemo last night around 7 (finally).
  • This round is shorter (hopefully).
  • We had great nurses to get her started and make me feel a little more confidant in her treatment this round.
  • I bought a new pair of shoes last night before we came to the hospital.
  • Chris brought me a mocha and creme brulee french toast for breakfast.
  • My shower was nice and hot this morning.
  • All the nurses and doctors have complimented my haircut.
Not so good:
  • I lost it on the phone with the nurses yesterday as her admission kept getting pushed back (they apologized, and I know there is nothing they can do about it).
  • There was only one bed available for the next few days, and it is in the ONLY shared room in the unit.
  • Our roommate is a teenager who stays up late and sleeps late...and her mom snores (still, as I write this at 11:00 am)
  • Shared room means only one parent can stay.  Chris will visit for a couple hours each day when he is not at work.
  • My shoes aren't as great as I thought and are going back to the store.
Just plain bad:
  • This round is hard on the little one.  I woke up to her throwing up in her sleep.  She can't keep anything down right now.  It doesn't seem to bother her too much, but it's hard for me to watch.  We'll see how it goes over the next few days as her body adjusts to the medications. 

25 comments:

Sami said...

Still checking in and thinking good thoughts for you guys. You're doing it! So many great people out here putting good energies out there for you guys.

monica said...

Oh, I am so sorry that things are so difficult on your family. You are in out thoughts and prayers, we think of your family often and have faith that scarlett will overcome the beast of cancer and these will be stories to tell in her future.

Kimberly said...

I wish she didn't have to go through this as I am sure you do to. I know this is how to help her get well at the moment. You all are always in my thoughts and prayers, I think of her often, hoping she is doing well.

Sylvia said...

I did have to laugh as I was reading the good things! So sorry that poor little Scarlett is reacting to these meds this way. Keep your chin held high and we will hope for a room of your own soon, or least for one where there isn't someone who snores!! : ) Sending you many hugs and keeping you lifted in prayer.

Anonymous said...

I'll continue to pray for Scarlett's recovery. I know things are hard right now but you should try to remember that there are lots of kids who are a lot sicker and in a lot more serious condition than Scarlett. You should try and be grateful that you are even able to tale her home. It's not the nurses fault or the innocent sick children's fault that they're sick and need a room. I don't think going off on people on the phone is the most helpful thing to do. If it were my child, I'd just be grateful she got a room anywhere. I wouldn't care who her roommate is - I'd care that she's safe in a bed getting the care she needs. I hope everything goes well.

Anonymous said...

Really. Nitpicking for her being upset? I'm sure she was reacting that way because she was stressed. She knows its not their fault but I hate hospitals and totally understand where she is coming from.

Praying for scarlett.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry Scarlett is having a tough time with this round and that it's also so hard on you and your husband. While it's important to see to Scarlett's needs and comfort, PLEASE be sure you and your husband take care of yourselves as well (mentally & physically) as much as can given the circumstances...the stress of a caregiver in this situation is severe and stress wears you down physically. You are also entitled to your blow ups and freak out moments -- that actually shows you are processing and dealing with all of this instead of bottling it up, so good for you! (I'm a psychologist by the way, I'm not just randomly saying this). So, keep up the good work Mom & Dad and my family and I will be keeping you all and Scarlett in our thoughts! :-) Keep up the faith and the fight!

Jessica said...

I'm so sorry you're still going through hard times. I am very glad you can still see the good. I am crying thinking of you and how hard it must be to watch your baby go through this. However, I am very glad she is so young she will never remember it. One day this will just be a memory. Hang in there, it'll get better. She is such a fighter, she'll beat this!

Jessica said...

Also - I'm very sorry that "anonymous" felt the need to put you down. It was extremely uncalled for. Your feelings and behaviors sound very appropriate given the circumstance you are in. You are very patient with the nurses, but no one can just sit back and be patient forever. I'm sure that when you snapped at them it wasn't even that bad and I'm sure they can handle it. Don't feel bad about it. You are an amazing woman and mother and I'm sorry someone is commenting on your blog but not supporting you.

Amanda said...

Thank you so much for keeping us updated. We don't know each other but I've been praying for little Scarlett. I've been struck by your blog's articulacy and authenticity...and creativity. I can't imagine how tough things must be and yet you still manage to make me smile (those poor shoes). Hang in there...

Anonymous said...

I am sorry to hear that Scarlett is having a tough time and that the room is being shared is just a bummer. I have faith in you as I have followed you from the beginning and you are an amazingly strong family. I too am sorry that someone felt the need to put you down. Your feelings are neither right nor wrong and you need to get them out. I am sure you were not as harsh as you feel and that the nurses thick skin kept them from thinking bad of you. I check your blog at least once a day as I continue to pray for all of you. Big hugs sweet momma! Nana in Vacaville

Molly (from BBC March 2010) said...

Hmmm. I hate to follow that ^^^^. People are CRAZY. And just plain mean.

ANYWAY, poor Scarlett I hope she is feeling better soon and that the drugs' side effects wear off quickly. Hang in there, you guys. You are doing a great job!

Sylvia said...

Really?? I would like to ask you, whoever you are, to please remove your comment before Brandi and Chris see this. There really isn't any reason for such disrespect and accusations. Brandi is entitled to her feelings and even her outbursts if and when they happen given the circumstances and the events that they have been through in these short but trying 2 months. Given the department these nurses work in and being the professionals that they are, they have very thick skin and don't take these emotional situations personally. The blog should be to encourage and support, not to knock down. So I ask again, please delete your comment - it is not helpful. If something was said that you disagree with, then you have the option to not revisit the blog - but such language, really? They have endured enough.

Catherine Soni said...

So sorry little Scarlett has to have an upset tummy on top of everything else....thankful to hear that it doesn't seem to bother her much! I will pray that her body handles the chemo well and that it zaps every bit of cancerous cells in her body! Stay strong....you are a wonderful example of a selfless mother who gives her all!

Connor's Mommy said...

Glad to hear that there are some good things happening but sad to hear about the not so good :( Hoping that you all don't have to share a room for much longer. Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way!

Don't you just hate when new shoes don't turn out to be so great?

Deanna (BBC mom 2009) said...

Wow the nerve of some people to get on here and complain and make snide comments. Why don't you shit your Fu%^&n mouth up and go some where else. If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say it at all and especially not here. If you don't like what she has to say then don't read the blog and move on with your pathetic excuse you call a life.
She has every right to feel the way she does. It has been a long road and she said she knew that there were kids that were worst off than her daughter. It is still frustrating to have to deal with being moved around and to be canceled on. They have to pray every day that their daughter's cancer does not come back.
For those who are talking down to her you don't know how she feels and there is nothing wrong with her expressing her feelings. I would be the same way if my child was going through it. They are both very strong people.

Kristiana Rose said...

Brandi, You are a wonderful mother. Scarlett is really lucky that God placed her in your home. Considering EVRYTHING that has been going on the last couple of months, it is completely reasonable for you to break down every now and then. We (well, most of us) understand thst you will need to break down sometimes, and that's ok. You are so amazing, and I am very lucky to have met you:) I will continue to pray for you guys as you go thorugh chemo. I'm here for you guys:) <3

Sylvia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I am so sorry about how your feeling right now. I can't imagine my son having to go through all of the medical trials and tribulations that Scarlett has had to face. I can't fathom what you must be feeling. I also can't imagine you going through this and then having nasty people leaving ignorant unwaranted comments for you to read. Me and my family pray for Scarlett and your family everyday. She is in God's hands and just know there are a ton of people out there who may not "know" you but really LOVE you! God Bless you, Scarlett, your husband and family! Please delete "anonymous" from your mind you have so much to be thankful for and shes not one of them. ;) p.s. I'm from New York and i've never seen someone be as disrespectful as "anonymous", thats saying alot!

Jenn said...

We continually pray for little Scarlett and are happy to hear she is achieving so many milestones, even though some have been bumpy (ie: throwing up; not tolerating chemo). Each and everyone of us wouldn't be following your blog if we didn't support you, so why "anonymous" feels the need to make petty comments is beyond me. All I can hope is that she does not revisit your site. Just remember...you have over 3400 well-wishers on Facebook, and over 1000 here! :0) *HUGS* ~Jenn & Ella

RLC said...

:( I am so sorry that you are throwing up Scarlett. I hope your tummy feels better soon sweetie! Hang in there mom and dad. Praying for you all everyday! <3

Tricia said...

Sending lots and lots of prayers to lil Scarlett! She looks absolutely precious and is growing so much! The only thing that is positive in all of this is that she will not remember any of this, for that I am greatful. So sorry she has been so sick this round. Hope she gets to feeling better again soon! From a fellow October Bumpie!!! We miss you over there but know that we all are praying so hard for Butterfly!

bobwendi said...

Thinking of lil' Miss Scarlett every day. My son and I pray for her every night. I am sorry she is having a tougher time this round. She's a strong girl with amazing parents.

People who have not had a critically sick child have no idea what emotions you experience, and have no right to say how you should or should not feel or what you should or should not say. You have to emotionally ready yourself for the next step (round), and when the schedule changes at the last minute, it is emotionally devastating. Emotionally, it is like you are gearing up for war....it is a war, a war to save your child's life. People who have not experienced it, have no idea how it feels.

God bless your family. :)

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry.

Anonymous said...

Poor babygirl!! I want you to know that you and your little sweetie are in our prayers
God Bless Scarlett Grace : )

-Noelle
Cafemom july 2010