We had a wonderful Christmas with our families. We were able to take Scarlett out just as we would have, so we went to Christmas Eve services at church and to some friends' house for champagne after. Before church, I was fixated on getting one last gift that I had not had a chance to get - a "Baby's First Christmas" ornament for Scarlett. We got the last one at the Hallmark store, plus a red jeweled butterfly ornament from Pier 1. I could have waited and gotten them later, but I wanted them on our tree on Christmas Eve.
On Christmas morning, we did all of our traditions with my family, including my grandmother's recipe for "eggs a la goldenrod" - biscuits and gravy with hard-boiled eggs grated on top. Simple, but my sister and I always considered this holiday food when we were little, and we only have it on Christmas and Easter now. We opened stockings and gifts; it was a extra generous Christmas, I think. We are very excited to fill up our new Kindle (thanks, Uncle Danny!) and read Scarlett her new touchy-feely art books (from Amazon and Great Grandma). We would have made waffles this morning with my new waffle iron, but we're out of milk.
A huge thank you to our friends Grant, Barbara and Hanna for bringing Santa to Scarlett. I know she cried and looks horrified in most of the pictures, but it meant so much to me to put on the fancy dress, ruffled tights and shiny shoes that had been waiting. The great family pictures are priceless to us as well.
Now that the holiday is over, I find myself sinking into dark thoughts. It's a dangerous vortex that I cannot let myself fall into. I made the mistake of googling a few terms, but had to stop because my crying was upsetting the baby. The doctors warned us to resist looking up too much until we know more, because we will just end up slogging through a lot of material that won't pertain to Scarlett. So, when I get the urge to Google, I blog instead.
We're cleaning the house today and trying to get some rest. Tomorrow we meet with the oncology team at 11am.