Sunday, December 26, 2010

Christmas

We had a wonderful Christmas with our families.  We were able to take Scarlett out just as we would have, so we went to Christmas Eve services at church and to some friends' house for champagne after.  Before church, I was fixated on getting one last gift that I had not had a chance to get - a "Baby's First Christmas" ornament for Scarlett.  We got the last one at the Hallmark store, plus a red jeweled butterfly ornament from Pier 1.  I could have waited and gotten them later, but I wanted them on our tree on Christmas Eve.

On Christmas morning, we did all of our traditions with my family, including my grandmother's recipe for "eggs a la goldenrod" - biscuits and gravy with hard-boiled eggs grated on top.  Simple, but my sister and I always considered this holiday food when we were little, and we only have it on Christmas and Easter now.  We opened stockings and gifts; it was a extra generous Christmas, I think.  We are very excited to fill up our new Kindle (thanks, Uncle Danny!) and read Scarlett her new touchy-feely art books (from Amazon and Great Grandma).  We would have made waffles this morning with my new waffle iron, but we're out of milk.

A huge thank you to our friends Grant, Barbara and Hanna for bringing Santa to Scarlett.  I know she cried and looks horrified in most of the pictures, but it meant so much to me to put on the fancy dress, ruffled tights and shiny shoes that had been waiting.  The great family pictures are priceless to us as well.

Now that the holiday is over, I find myself sinking into dark thoughts.  It's a dangerous vortex that I cannot let myself fall into.  I made the mistake of googling a few terms, but had to stop because my crying was upsetting the baby.  The doctors warned us to resist looking up too much until we know more, because we will just end up slogging through a lot of material that won't pertain to Scarlett.  So, when I get the urge to Google, I blog instead.

We're cleaning the house today and trying to get some rest.  Tomorrow we meet with the oncology team at 11am.

15 comments:

Rebecca said...

From BBC Nov '10 board....I am so happy that you were able to spend Christmas at home with Scarlett! I am praying that you get good news tomorrow...I will be thinking of you both!

Kimberly said...

I'll be praying and thinking of little Scarlett tomorrow.

(The Bump 6-9 months)

greeneyedgirl said...

NEVER NEVER google Brandi! It's evil! :) Seriously, I had to stop too, because it is just too scary. We pray for you every night at my house.

Hoping for good news tomorrow...

Anonymous said...

God bless you, Scarlett and her dad. I pray she gets healed by the one true God Jehovah) and that her story will be a testimony for people to rejoice over.

Love

Chix

Trina said...

Google is EVIL when you are worried about medical issues...I found that out from experience! All it does is make what seems impossible even worse. I will be praying for good news from the doctors tomorrow. So glad you had a wonderful Christmas and have so many precious memories!!! Good luck and God bless!!! :)

Jenn said...

What a wonderful Christmas you had! Prayers for a positive appt. tomorrow morning.

~Jenn - a September Babycenter Mom :0)

Anonymous said...

Hang in there, Brandi and Chris, and focus on those happy memories. Thinking about you all the time and sending positive thoughts.

Kathy D. - USD

Anonymous said...

Hi, I am from BBC October Birth Club and am a teacher in KY. I don't know how your district does things, but we are able to share our days with others in my district. That may be something you might want to look into. I am praying for Scarlett's miracle. My little guy spent a couple of weeks in the NICU after a totally normal birth. He just got sick and they couldn't figure out what was wrong at first. Thankfully for us, he is now totally fine, but I know how awful the unknown is. Don't give up hope and avoid Google at all costs - I learned my lesson first hand.

Anonymous said...

Hi I'm a BBC Mama also and have been following your story, I pray for you guys every day! I also have a daughter who has a disability and I was wondering if you were aware that you could file for Social Security/Disabilty for Scarlett, they will send you a check every month and give her medicaid which pays 100% of all medical expenses. If you can't work because of her illness you get paid a higher amount of money. I recieve a little over $700 per month for my daughter and it has been such a relief to no longer worry about medical bills. If you need any info on other services or just to speak to a Mom who has been in your shoes please feel free to contact me anytime on BBC or my email is love.shara@yahoo.com u can also look me up on facebook. (((hugs and prayer))) Shara

Emily@Little Forever Family said...

When my little guy was diagnosed in utero (and also with my first two) my doctor told me not to google the diagnosis (hydrops for this little guy mixed with a minor heart defect, which was the least of the worries.) I started reading statistics of a 50% mortality rate while in intero with a 60-90% after and I lost it. Because we lost our first two I just gave up. I became very bitter and sad, but than realized for the sake of my husband, our two year old adopted son, and this little un-born boy, I would fight. And we were blessed with a miracle. With our first two, we were blessed with a different miracle. They were not healed like their youngest brother, but we were given time, time to get to know them, to experience their sweet spirits. I've lost two children, I've been through that hell. And I have faced losing a third and overcame that fight. I do not know what the future will hold. I pray it is many more Christmases. Fight the fight, and reach out for the strength as needed as I know there are thousands praying for you.
{{{Hugs}}}

jennifer said...

so glad you got to enjoy Christmas! i wish i was working later so i could give you hugs before you go in to meet with the doctors tomorrow.. but i get off at 7. so, virtual hugs it is! i'll be thinking of you both and Scarlett all day.

Tracy said...

Hi, I'm from the Aug '10 board. Keeping Scarlett and your family in my prayers. Thinking of you as you meet with the Drs today. HUGS!

April and Roel said...

From the June 2010 BBC board. I'm glad you had a good Christmas. Definitely keep yourself away from the internet or find other things to do on there to stay away from Google. When my son has having surgery to correct a congenital heart defect, I was on-line checking out Zulily or some mommy blogs (like The Shopping Mama). Anything to keep my mind of things! I'm sending positive energy your way and wish you much strength over the coming days, weeks and months.

4+1=5hopingfor7 said...

OMG all I can say is you know what 'eggs ala Goldenrod" is?? I've never met anyone who knew what it was. I kinda thought it was something my family sort of created on accident.
I'm so happy that you had a great Christmas with your precious gift. I will continue to pray for our Christmas Miracle for Scarlett. Thanks for updating!

Anonymous said...

I don't know you. I didn't hear about your story until today, but I am a BBCer. I don't pray. I am not religious, but I will pray daily for your little Scarlett. She is a ham. Your a good mommy, and I wish I could hug you!