Wednesday, December 29, 2010

A New Phrase

Today, I decided to coin a new phrase:  "Mom Up".  I heard someone on TV say to "man up", and I thought moms have it harder.

To "mom up" means to do the right thing for your kid no matter how hard it is.  I told Chris it means to put on your "big girl pants" and do what has to be done.  It's getting up in the middle of the night to nurse a baby, or wiping poop off of every surface, or to walk around with barf on your shirt because there is more important stuff to take care of.  Today for me, this meant giving Scarlett her yucky medicine even though she hates it and gags and sputters, while I told her how good she is and how much I love her and how it's almost all gone.  I think this is what happened for my mom when she came into our PICU room after hearing bad news and didn't cry, but let me cry.  It's also the way my sister held her tiny baby Zoey for the few minutes she had with her.

Everyone tells me how strong I am and how brave we have been facing Scarlett's diagnosis and surgery.  I feel brave and confidant sometimes, but I am scared to death, too.  But being scared does not help her.  She feels my tension and reacts with her own agitation.  My calm and quiet reassurance is all I can do to make her feel calm right now.  I have to mom up and be brave for my baby.

34 comments:

Lindsey said...

God bless you.

kristalucasphotography said...

I agree. to mom up is definitely the hardest thing to do sometimes. I am praying for you with all my heart.

Jennifer Zutler said...

Well put Brandi!! And what a great mom you are!!

Tammy said...

Just read your blog. I'm so sorry that your family, especially little Scarlett, has to go through this.

Pretty in Pink and Camo said...

Very well put! Even though you might not feel like you are, you are a very strong woman and mommy. :) I'm still praying for you and your family!

Rebecca Tanner said...

you are a VERY AMAZING WOMEN and i just wanna hug you SOOOO TIGHT...you are a very strong individual and i hope you just keep getting stronger and stronger for that little angel. You,Scarlett,and your family are in my thoughts and prayers EVERY single day.

Amy Biagini said...

You are doing what you need to do to give your little love her fighting chance. I wish I could hug all of you, this continues to follow me in my thoughts wherever I go. What a wonderful mommy you are.

Anonymous said...

Love the phrase you came up with "Mom up". I think you truly are that phrase. What a wondeful Mommy and woman that you are. I have often thought of the quote, "You never how strong you are until being strong is your only option" You, your family, and Baby Scarlett are truly inspiring. I continue to keep you all in my prayers.

Patty!!! said...

Beautiful, and wise.

Anonymous said...

A compounding pharmacy might be able to make Scarlett's medication in a flavor she likes better (such as bubble gum or apple). We did this for my infant son, and it made that aspect of "Momming up" a lot less difficult to do when he lapped it up easily, rather than when I was trying to force feed him the medication. The latter broke my heart every time--as I'm sure you are experiencing, given your new phrase. You are Momming up so admirably!

Nicole (ehhxsnohs) said...

I don't know what to say other then I am praying for you and your family and especially Scarlett ♥

cdub5213 said...

You are so unbelievably brave.

Let God comfort you right now as you are amazingly strong for your little girl.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UkKTlzyLhQ

Anonymous said...

<3 <3 You and Scarlett have truly made me a better mom, forever. I will never ever take my daughter for granted. You are strong, and you are way more brave than i could be. Keep fighting ;] Were all behind you.

Deborah said...

I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. You are very strong as good parents must be. Just know you and scarlett are in our prayers and I think of you guys everyday.

Anonymous said...

Well said!

Anonymous said...

I'm praying for you to always find that place of peace inside your self so that you are able to do what you need to do for Scarlett. You have given her the greatest gift; a loving mother. You have made me want to be better for my son. Bless you and Keep you.

Meghan Carey said...

My prayers are with you and your family. I sat here this morning and read your whole blog, putting cartoons on for my daughter so that she wouldn't see me cry. I know how hard it is as a parent to want to "fix" everything and make it better for our kids. When I was pregnant with my oldest, I had all the tests done and they told us that she had down syndrome or trisomy 18. We talked about it until we were blue in the face, I didn't know how to handle it. Khloe's dad kept telling me that she was going to be fine, there was nothing wrong with her. My family was unsure on how to console me. In the end, we decided to not do anymore testing, we would deal with whatever God gave us. I spent the entire pregnancy preparing myself (trisomy 18 is fatal) to deal with whatever came. Joe would talk to my belly every night and tell Khloe that she was perfect and everything would be ok. When I woke up from the anesthesia from the c-section, the first thing out of my mouth was is she ok, before the nurse could answer me, my mom and Joe walked in with her. She was fine, the doctors can't explain how or why, all they can say is that the problem fixed itself before it caused any real damage. Now I am a firm believer of positive thinking. Positive thinking brings positive outcomes, praying to whoever your higher power is, helps. Just keep telling Scarlett that she is going to grow up to be a beautiful, smart woman, that she is strong and brave. Keep telling yourself that everything will be ok, that it will all work out. I wish you and your family the best.

Madeline said...

You and your husband are being the best parents possible to Scarlett and I agree that trying to be strong and "normal" for her is important now as she looks at you and just wants her Mom and Dad. My daughter was born a few days after yours and we are both thinking of you and praying for your family and Scarlett's full recovery.

Anonymous said...

I can't help but cry in happiness I hope you understand that you are the perfect mom for Scarlett and I see that God chose you for a reason, I admire your courage and I have Scarlett and you in my prayers as well as your entire family.

Anonymous said...

What a mom you are! Your daughter needs you so much and you and your husband are there for her. You are amazing. Keep on momming up and just know that there is an entire community of people behind you. We don't know you but we think about you everyday. Sending vibes and prayers.

Anonymous said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I'm a first time mom and I can't help but see my son in your daughters face everytime I look at her pictures. God Bless you and your family.

Beth (BBC Sept/Oct 2010) said...

I love this phrase so much!!! No one will ever understand how hard it is to mom up unless they have been there, however you take the phrase to a whole new level! Scarlett is so lucky to have you both as her parents! You are truly an inspiration bc every time I get frustrated bc my daughter is fussy I think of you and your beautiful little girl and realize how unfair I'm being. I think of Scarlett frequently and I pray for your family daily. Scarlett already is a miracle but will show just how big of a miracle she Is when she makes it through all this! Best wishes and lots of love! Xoxo!

Andrea said...

I am praying for you and your beautiful little girl. You are amazingly strong. Your daughter is so lucky to have you and your husband as parents. Praying for your family... ps I am from bbc.

Narisa said...

Hi Brandi, I'm from BBC. I just wanted to let you know that you are truly an amazing mom! As I read your blog, my heart aches...I pray everyday for baby Scarlett and your family. Mom's definitely have to "mom up" all the time. We are there for our children through every aspect of their lives, good and bad. Scarlett is truly a beautiful little miracle, she is truly blessed to have you as parents as you are blessed to have her as your beautiful daughter. We are always thinking and praying for you and your family. God Bless. XOXO

Anonymous said...

You don't know me, but I am Matt Planer's wife. He told me that he knew you through Sea Scouts. I saw a post that you made on facebook, while I was on his account because there was nothing exciting going on mine. Matt did not know that there was anything going on with your beautiful daughter, but if you know how aware Matt is, that is not shocking! I just want you to know that your baby has been in my thoughts so much. Your daughter is so beautiful and precious. I hope so desperately for her to overcome the obstacles that she and your family have been given. Also, I hope that you find some way to have people donate to your daughter's cause because we would love to be able to do so. Again, your daughter has to be the most gorgeous little girl I have ever seen, and I am looking forward to hearing that she is beating the odds.
Corey Planer

You & Me + the Baby makes 3 said...

Your story is so heartbreaking, but I find myself engrossed in your story. Everyone is praying for a miracle but, in my opinion Scarlett is the miracle. In such a short time shes already shown you and given you such a wonderful gift, the ultimate love. My heart bleeds for you and your family as you go into this new year with such a heartache burdening you. I pray for the success of Scarlett's impending surgery and I pray that the Lord puts a calming on your heart. People all across this nation are waiting on baited breath for your updates, good and bad, please know that we are with you, not in body but in spirit and celebrate each triumph as well as the let-downs. I know my whole family is praying for You both and Baby Scarlett.
<3 With much Love,
The Price Family from Alaska

Eric said...

Our thoughts and prayers will be with you, and I will ask our chaplain tonight to put you in his prayers. Hopefully LO will show that tumor who's boss and respond well to treatment!

Anonymous said...

As someone who has dealt with a lot of death in her life (including the loss of her parents too soon, and the stillbirth of a child), I wanted to pass my thoughts along.

Something you should keep reminding yourself: sometimes fear is okay. It lets you know that you have not turned cold-hearted and empty. Also, your moments of "fear and weakness" allow your incredible strength to shine through ever more brightly! You cannot know your strengths without your weaknesses.

You are going through a very trying time, and my heart and thoughts are with you and your family. Come what may, you both are incredible parents to Scarlett.

Anonymous said...

God bless you. I am praying for you and your family and I can not even begin to imagine what you are going through. Every post I read brings me to tears, you are so strong. We will continue to pray for Scarletts healing.

vlh1187 said...

I LOVE this!!! Scarlett is very blessed to have a Mommy so willing to "mom up"!

Rachael said...

My thoughts are with you and your precious Scarlett through these hard times. I cannot imagine what you are going through right now. Scarlett is a lucky little girl to have a mommy as wonderful as you are!

<3

Anonymous said...

You should look up Hope for Laynie on Facebook. It follows a family who had a baby girl with a rare disease. She was born and not expected to live through the week, but she lived for almost 3 years. Her grandmother, Lolly, writes about her and their life and newfound faith and trust in God. Thinking about and praying for your family.

Anonymous said...

I sit here in tears. Reading each post. You are strong, and I love the phrase.

Anonymous said...

Between this post and your husband's prayer, two of the most beautiful things I've ever read. Praying for your beautiful Scarlett!